Railside's Home

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Location: Whitewater, Wisconsin, United States

nothing to say

Monday, May 30, 2005

me likey posty, me likey posty

Hello everyone, its been awhile since I have posted and I figure that now I have some time to do so I might as well make a post. First order of business is after years of wait I think I am finally getting my speakers within the week. I was approved for $5000 in credit today at Abt so as soon as I get TJ or whytey to move my desk up stairs I am going to put in the order. The other great thing about that means my office is nearly done, the other major thing I need is a book shelf so I have some storage space for my books, as well as a curtain rod but that isn’t a very big deal- go to Restoration Hardware or Neimans some time after I have the exact dimensions. Next today, being memorial day I had it off from work (to which I am shocked by) so James, Andera and myself went to Illinois going to Abt, Neiman Marcus, and Woodfield, good times were had by all. Although on the drive home I was feeling what I thought was depression however after thinking about it in more depth its loneliness. Looking the people I know they are all with someone ether engaged, married, or deeply involved with someone. I'm not saying I want any or all of the above however it would be nice seeing someone who doesn't have kids and isn’t strung out on crack. I realize I have been harping on this in a good deal of my previous posts but to be quite blunt I don’t care. I see all of my friends getting engaged, dating, getting married and so on while I am alone with the only options are people like Kellie who have kids and make people like slutty look like devout Catholics. While at the same time my friends either don’t have the means/contacts to help my situation or don’t care (James and Andera for the first, Whytey for the second). In fact it seems that my life has became a joke because, you know in order for any woman to be interested in me she has to be a Russian mail order bride (thanks Andera). I'm not really ‘offended’ by the comment but at the same time I know if I made a comment of the same caliber that paradigm her life she would have been angry. But moreover I am trying to think about the validity of the statement as to what extent is that true, I was thinking about that most of the way home from WW and continuing up till right now. Not sure what conclusion I have yet. But regardless of that I have made a decision (that I originally made long ago) and that is to give the internet a serious try so I am in the process of researching the various companies now and by mid June I intend to join one of those services since I really don’t see any alternatives that are in the near future. I am contemplating including the online adult personals, James was deseeding me for awhile but I realize (then and now more then ever) he doesn't value sex much at all and I do. Beth taught me there are females out there who explore their sexuality and I want to do the same, just unsure if that’s the best way. Inline with this Andera I am not gay, and I do not think I'm bisexual simply because I don’t find guys attractive, find me a guy that’s gay/bi that I find attractive and then we’ll talk. Next topic Paul; I don’t even know if you read this anymore but if you do you obviously don’t want to be my friend because you have never called me nor texted me, when I have called and texted you (not recently because I have been waiting for you to call me) which simply hasn’t happened. I was considering calling you but given you’re married now I really don’t want to call when you have your dick up Jess’s ass but it doesn't really matter now does it. Plus don’t give me that I'm too busy bullshit because you text James regularly, and called him a few times, so I'm not buying that. I don’t want an appolgy, saying you’re a bad friend and you’ll change because you wont you had several chances to demonstrate otherwise and you never did jack shit. Also next time you see James at work, or you close followed by him opening or whatever I want my DVD back- you have had it for nearly a year and I have been quite- its funny when you let me borrow the blue shift game, I had it for a week before you started pestering to get it back, never mind I didn’t complete the game nor could I play it with out the CD. But the moral of the story is I want my DVD back ASAP, or the $25 it cost, also James doesn't have the balls to tell you so I am- give him his PS2 game Half Life back in the process. Next item on the agenda is work, it still sucks: they promoted a guy who doesn't know the difference between a half an inch and a quarter inch screw to product testing, and are contemplating promoting a guy who comes to work stoned on a regular basis but I plan on talking to HR in the coming weeks to hopefully get the situation fixed to where I have some position in the office, only downfall is I would have to go to day shift but the hours are 9-5 or 8:30-5, I may stay in the factory till second shift is over to transfer depending on pay differences. In reguards to the car: it still runs, needed a new headlight and now uses the xenon blue headlights which are cool but not sure how long the car will last. Lastly about the apartment: well my mother likes the idea but stupid doesn't, I will have to see how my pay checks good or bad my pay checks look now I have gotten my raise but with a little luck I should be out of the house by between July and September. The places I called all had apartments for rent ranging from 450 up to 788 per month divided by 2. Later in the week Whytey and I go look at them and we’ll see what happens there. Well about 2 and a half pages font size 12 single spaced- not as long as some I have posted but a lot longer then the shorter posts, will probably make another extensive post around the 4th of July since that is the next time I get off of work. Time to go to WOW (lvl 52 now, about 1/3 of the way to 53).

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

tired

frustrated by work and home, will explain weehn am not so tired

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Vacation

well this weekend wasnt an actual vacation but i was away from bitch since thursday night and it was so incredibaly relaxing i cant begin to describe it. Then i went home and ofcourse bitch was pissed that i wasnt home on friday after work much less sunday afternoon- ignorning the fact that she knew i was going to be gone but i dont give a shit. Plus i think she dosent like dwayne solely based on his sexuality, again ignoring her own personal hypocracies. she said she was going to refuse to cook me dinner and i said i she does that i will be leaving and woulnt be back. I dont think she beleaves me and wants me to live at home till i'm 30 or 40 when she dies which isnt going to happen. As of right now my goal is moving out of the house in august, after i get my raise at work i will be able to see what is fiezeable and whats not. but the moral of the story is: good weekend gaming, bitch tried to ruin it, i wont let her and i'm not living at home much longer.

Monday, May 09, 2005

high standards

OK its been awhile since I have posted so I figure its time again: so as 90% of the people who read this blog know I finally met someone who was interested in me at work but she as a few problems which I cannot over look for starters she is 22 years old and has 2 children one 4 and the other 8 which violates one of the maxims I set up for myself. If you didn’t know I set up several rules I am trying to abide by in my course of trying to find someone to date namely first they do not have children second they are not deeply religious and lastly they are not stupid as in I can actually have an intelligent conversation with them. So aside from the children we talked briefly about sex and she said “I lost count how many guys I fucked after 250”. So while this may have boosted my self esteem slightly I don’t intend to pursue anything further. While I had some sort of hope another person would fall through the cracks of this company it is seeming less and less likely and with a turnover rating of 85+% it seems irrelevant. But regardless of all of this it has lead me to the question are my standards too high and should I settle for something that is worthy of the Jerry Springer show. I have been single for almost 11 months now and while I haven’t made strong attempts to change this situation as I have written and said so many times before I am not exactly sure how to change this situation. Although Andera said in WOW a few weeks ago something I have been turning over in my head for awhile that went to the effect of is it too much to ask for a guy with certain qualifications that were not at all outlandish I would quote but don’t remember exactly what was said. However I do recall I intern said is it too much for me to ask for a girl with certain qualities (I think the qualities I said were something like loving enough not to cheat on me when I go to work or something really simple like that and she never responded which leads me to think my standards are too high. Want to get your opinions on this