Railside's Home

Name:
Location: Whitewater, Wisconsin, United States

nothing to say

Thursday, July 29, 2004

Decisions made from desperation

Ok for the benifit of everyone I need to clarify what is going on esp. since I have ran into james the past two times I have been in Whitewater (how fucked up is that). I am back with slutty to the extent we are having sex and spending time togeather. While most people are going to condem me for this action I can give a very convincing case and here it is: for those of you who say I am better off alone, look at yourself point being you are telling me to do somthing that you yourself has not done- when you are single by force as opposed to by choice then your words has credence and needs no justification, but those who condem me are ones who are not in the position to. Second of in some respects this is what i want: mindless sex with no attachments and untill i can find the means of meeting more partners it seems most logica that I do what i can to fufill my dream. And most importantly of all it helps with my depression since i started having sex with slutty I havent been super depressed, nor have i cut myself and if thats not good I dont know what is. But anyways I just wanted to pleed my case not that it matters.

Sunday, July 25, 2004

Brian's party

WOW thats all i can say about the party it was all that i anticipated and more, after brian had the fireworks equlivent to down town milwaukee. Then i met this girl named Angie....let me try to compair to people you know: compair slutty to beth and beth to these Angie, tall (like 6'2) blonde hair, blue eyes, big brests, and gradguated an engeneering major......so we started flirting and it was ok....then jason came along goddamnit every fucking time.... James i will just say this: you told yourself you didnt want to be like jon or tim or the way i was with slutty and so on and last night proves your're more like them then you know and i'll leave that alone.... there is more i want to say about last night but it can wait till later because i have to goto work

Friday, July 16, 2004

death of saturday

well this is about the third time i have tried to post on blog and the
previous two times has failed: so when no one reads this because its
not there i wont be shocked I have came to the conclusion saturdays are
dead or at least as they once existed why, because everyone has their
girlfriends or boyfriends and they get to spend "quality time" with
them, by that i mean the old in out, in out for the most part. I
am the only single person among my friends, or at least the only person
thats not involved in some sort of relationship: lets see here bout the
friends i have who are single are stevemotherfucker, jewish steve, and
whytey although i contend whytey is with someone it just constantly
changes. and look at the two others i mentioned:
stevemotherfucker is oblivious to flirting (according to beth, and
coming from her i would take it to be true) and jewish steve, thats a
guy where i have wanted to kill 100 times over again and even to this
day would take great pleasure in it. if you ask my why i will simpally
say this: when a girl asked to make out with him he replied (in an
offended manner) the bucks are on. Why cannot he just die in a slow
painful manner. even jon and eric (two of the most undiserving fucks on
the planet. But this isnt about everyone else its about me. It would be
nice to be able to go out but when there is no where to go it makes it
incriseingly difficult. i even asked afew of my friends if i could
borrow their digital camra so i could get a pic of myself online in an
attept to meet someone new but once again that failed...thanks alot. I
think i am depresssed about the fact that i want to meet new people and
do new things but i dont have the ability to. for those who care i have
gone back to cutting myself and now i questioned why i ever stopped, it
feels so nice to have the blade penitrate my flesh and watch the blood
drain out. if your're ever feeling depressed i suggest you all try it.
Othen then that I am quitting kohls because they are giving me hardly
any hours and the new supervisor is the type person that is bitchy
hyperactive so if your not doing exactly what she wants she will yell
at you in a peppy way which will make me sick. so need to look for
somthign new that gives me hours. other then that i hope everyone has a
happy saturday, i know i wont.

Thursday, July 15, 2004

People are fucking stupid

first off i was reading dwayne's away msg and it stated "when u call up a bunch of friends to hang out and they leave u hanging and than all get togther later and dont call you thats called rude and mean and not being a good friend " is he describing himself or his friends??? but anyways i'm trying to post regularly so whatever: first off i was on the road today going to see whytey and a ferrari testrossa pulls up next to me, i rev the engine implying i want to race, the ferrari initiates it (not seeing a cop was pulled up going the other way and long story the ferrari got a ticket for i am assuming street racing. then yesterday (going to the same place) the speed limit goes from 65 to 45 and a cop is stopped at the 45 mph sign, i hit the breaks firmly and slow to 45 by the sign, a dumbass truck floors it and passes me going probally 70, and needless to say the cop got him too...fucking morons.... although on tues. and wed i went to close with james and that was rather fun i actually made food on wed, and afterwards tj, james and i went to webs which amounted into a 95 min bitch session about work with the watress who also worked there and 2 costmors who work at a different store....i ended up giving her about a 40% tip because we actually got good service (see eric (not that your're ever going to read this) i do leave good tips for those who diserve it, cunts that dont like that guy in chicago dont diserve shit and dont get it form me. Other then that i'm quitting kolhs because the hours suck ass, i am working one day a week...just one i can find better hours other places even if the pay isnt as good making somtnhing and getting 7 hrs a week MAX is worse then a lower paying more work intensive job that gives 40 hours. cant think of anything else other then still single, still depressed, question why i dont cut deep enough to endit all...put thats just a pipe dream, or is it a wet dream...i forget

Saturday, July 10, 2004

posting

I havent had time to post in ages, probally since i have been so busy doing...stuff although i cannot name anything particular i have been keeping occupyed. I need another job so i can buy a new car but its not like that will happen. Today i demoed shit eater, no kidding: it was septic tank cleaner that had living organisms that "digested human fecies"...yeah thats nice working in home depo trying to convince the people to buy a product that eats shit (should have had jon or jason there as a macrocasm of the bacteria). blowing up shit during the 4th was fun although it would have been nice to do more, i suppose we have been out doing every year so next year will be better then last. Hvent heard from beth nor do i care to, i had a date the other day with a woman that worked in neiman marcus, and would have went to rocky with whytey and this girl i met in home depo but she wasnt 18 and fucking whytey never called me about rockey, someone had better of died in his family becuase if they havent yet they will soon. I finally got an update to my wardrobe, some stuff from hottopic, and stuf from neiman marcus.

posting

I havent had time to post in ages, probally since i have been so busy doing...stuff although i cannot name anything particular i have been keeping occupyed. I need another job so i can buy a new car but its not like that will happen. Today i demoed shit eater, no kidding: it was septic tank cleaner that had living organisms that "digested human fecies"...yeah thats nice working in home depo trying to convince the people to buy a product that eats shit (should have had jon or jason there as a macrocasm of the bacteria). blowing up shit during the 4th was fun although it would have been nice to do more, i suppose we have been out doing every year so next year will be better then last. Hvent heard from beth nor do i care to, i had a date the other day with a woman that worked in neiman marcus, and would have went to rocky with whytey and this girl i met in home depo but she wasnt 18 and fucking whytey never called me about rockey, someone had better of died in his family becuase if they havent yet they will soon. I finally got an update to my wardrobe, some stuff from hottopic, and stuf from neiman marcus.